A cricket fan’s marriage is on the rocks after his continued insistence on ending sex under the Duckworth-Lewis method.
When it came to matters of an intimate nature, Harold car dealer and local councillor Ron Ronsson would always insist he’d won the toss and choose to go first, according to divorce papers filed in Dunstable County Court.
The affidavit from Ronsson’s wife Yvonne said Ron was obsessed by cricket, especially the 20/20 format, and he would conduct his love making in the same high octane manner shouting ‘four!’, ‘six!!’, or ‘that’s a huge one !!!’ after each stroke.
“I’d say to Ron perhaps he could take things a bit slower, maybe start with a bit of foreplay, but he’d just reply ‘it’s not a test match’ or ‘I’m not Geoffrey F*cking Boycott’ as he turned me over to play a reverse sweep before climaxing” stated Yvonne.
“I could have possibly put up with this if I had a turn but the 2nd innings would barely start before Ron would claim the pitch was ‘too sticky to play on’, and then he’d go the toilet which he said constituted a ‘rain delay’.”
“When he returned he’d say under the Duckworth-Lewis method I only had 30 seconds left, which was barely enough time to punch the bastard in the face.”
“I can’t even do that anymore as he now wears a full-face helmet and a box.”
